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Wander Through Wiltshire: A Gonzo Guide to the English Countryside

submitted on 19 January 2024 by

A Brief Introduction to Wiltshire, My Dear Friends

Wiltshire, an unassuming county in the southwest of England, may not be the first place that springs to mind when you think of wild adventures and groundbreaking discoveries. Yet, I assure you, my friends, this verdant paradise is as teeming with fascinating history, otherworldly landscapes, and unique oddities as any far-flung destination.Join me, if you will, on a whirlwind tour of Wiltshire's wild wonders and intriguing enigmas - all the while basking in the warmth of the English countryside's finest accommodation options. Are you ready? Let's begin.

Stonehenge: A Prehistoric Marvel and Lodestone for the Eccentric

No trip to Wiltshire would be complete without a visit to the illustrious Stonehenge. This mysterious circle of massive stones, erected by some long-forgotten civilization, has drawn visitors to its enigmatic embrace for centuries.Perhaps the most amusing aspect of Stonehenge is witnessing the eclectic assortment of fellow travelers you may encounter there. New Age mystics, curious tourists, and dreadlocked Druids converge on this ancient gathering point, each interpreting the site in their own way - from cosmic portal to ritualistic calendar to interstellar landing pad.When you've exhausted your theories and gawked at the gargantuan stones long enough, head to the nearby Stonehenge Inn & Carvery. This charming establishment offers comfortable rooms and hearty meals to satiate your prehistoric ponderings.

Avebury: Stone Circles, Quirky Locals, and the Red Lion

Just up the road from Stonehenge lies Avebury, a village that positively oozes eccentricity. Here, you'll find an even larger stone circle, albeit less famous than its sibling. Wander amongst the mighty stones and ponder the secrets of the ancients - or simply marvel at the audacity of the village's construction, which sits brazenly within the circle itself.Avebury is also home to some delightfully quirky characters. You may encounter local residents who claim to be reincarnated witches or alien abductees, all casually going about their daily lives within this extraordinary landscape.Once you've had your fill of the unusual and the ancient, retire to the Red Lion - a classic English pub dating back to the 17th century. Curl up by the fire with a pint of ale and some traditional pub fare, and let the tales of Avebury's denizens wash over you in a warm, cozy haze.

The White Horses of Wiltshire: Chalky Equines and Panoramic Views

Scattered across the rolling hills of Wiltshire, you'll find a curious collection of colossal horses carved into the chalky earth. These enigmatic equines are the pride of the region and offer an excellent excuse for a leisurely drive through the picturesque countryside.
  • Visit Westbury's resplendent white horse, perched atop a commanding hill and surveying the landscape below.
  • Take in the majesty of the Uffington White Horse, the oldest of its kind and so abstract in design that it's said to be visible only from the heavens.
  • Witness the battle-scarred veteran of the collection, the Alton Barnes White Horse, a proud monument to the steeds that have served their country in times of war.
After a day spent admiring these chalky wonders, rest your weary legs at one of Wiltshire's many delightful bed and breakfast establishments. There's nothing quite like waking up to the scent of a freshly cooked English breakfast and a crisp country morning.

The Salisbury Cathedral: A Gothic Miracle and Mighty Magna Carta

Finish your Wiltshire adventures at the stately Salisbury Cathedral, an awe-inspiring feat of medieval architecture. With the tallest spire in Britain, this breathtaking edifice is a testament to the ingenuity and ambition of its creators.Within the hallowed halls of the cathedral, you'll find the legendary Magna Carta - a document whose historical significance is matched only by the audacity of its calligraphic flourishes. Gaze upon this venerable manuscript and marvel at the birth of modern democracy.Retire for the evening at the charming Pembroke Arms Hotel, conveniently located just a stone's throw from the cathedral. Raise a toast to the end of your Wiltshire journey and the beginning of your love affair with this enchanting region.And so, my friends, our journey through Wiltshire draws to a close. May your own travels through this delightful corner of England be as full of whimsy, wonder, and warm hospitality as mine have been. Until the next adventure!
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